Member

Written 2/20/2017

When we become members of something there are usually benefits that come along with that. I am just thinking out loud about what types of things we can belong to as members and what benefits we gain and give through our membership!

We are all born into a family making us FAMILY MEMBERS- we are all given unique gifts and personalities, we can give so much to our families through these whether it be laughter, affection, serving, providing financial support – a lot of times the Male is the main contributor but a lot of females contribute as well now days and sometimes more so than the male. Other unique gifts or personalities look like: wise counsel, discipline or guidance. One important gift I also think of is peace keeper!

I am thinking of what happens to the group and individual member when one or more members choose not to be a part of the group or use their gifts to contribute. What happens…

First I think of the individual, when they belong but do not show up… they miss out and the remaining members feel the lack of something.

Maybe it’s not the family; let’s say it’s your Church, Youth Group, Bible study, small group, Sports team, Choir, Band, Game Club, Student Council, City Council, Drama, Gym...you get the idea.

What are you missing out on by not using your MEMBERSHIP? What are others missing out on by you not sharing your MEMBERSHIP with them?

This can go so many ways; just think about what you have a membership to and who else does… think about what happens when MEMBERS do not use their MEMBERSHIP!

Pastor doesn’t study or show up to preach or teach… teacher doesn’t prepare or show up to teach class, parent doesn’t go to work, player doesn’t practice- how does that affect the game, maybe they don’t show up at all. Being a member of something is so special and if we don’t ever put effort into what we are members of all the members pay a price; including ourselves. We are all important and we all belong to something, many things, no matter how big or how small we are, we all matter and we are all significant! Don’t miss out… find out what your gifts are and use them, be or become the you that God made you to be! You will be blessed as you are a blessing! 

I am preaching to myself here folks... God is just talking to me about how important it is to just be prepared all the time and to be present wherever I am a member. (Family, extended family, friends, church, school, neighborhood)

1Co 12:14  For the body is not one member, but many.

1Co 12:15  If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

1Co 12:16  And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

1Co 12:17  If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

1Co 12:18  But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

1Co 12:19  And if they were all one member, where were the body?

1Co 12:20  But now are they many members, yet but one body.

1Co 12:21  And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

1Co 12:22  Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

1Co 12:23  And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

1Co 12:24  For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:

1Co 12:25  That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

1Co 12:26  And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.                                                                                             

1Co 12:27  Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Same Old Bible - New Lesson CANNOT

Once again I learn something new from this most commonly known book of the Bible.  John 3 is a chapter most Americans are familiar with. Once in a while God slows me down to take a deeper look at something in it. This week one specific word from verses 3 & 5 grab my attention. CANNOT, seems pretty

straight forward and is pretty clear, right?! 

For what ever reason I looked it up and this is what I found,

CANNOT: to be unable to do otherwise than 

Just as I suspected, simple enough. Well, I kept going with this defining of words and next up was UNABLE, here's what I found: 

UNABLE: not able to do something

Full Definition of unable

1. :  not able :  incapable: asa :  unqualified, incompetentb :  impotent, helpless
2. What caught my attention was this full definition... WOW! Now this gives more depth to the word CANNOT!!!
3. Let's look at these two verses in John 3&5

John 3:3

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be  born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. (keep in mind our definitions we just found)

John 3:5

Jesus answered, Verily, verily,  I say unto thee, Except a man  be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. (keep in mind our definitions we just found)

INCAPABLE...

UNQUALIFIED...

INCOMPETENT...

IMPOTENT...

HELPLESS

I can hardly wrap my mind around these truths! Outside of Jesus we will NEVER get to Heaven! We will remain blind and dead according to these two verses. Jesus was talking to one of the Jewish leaders of that time. These words apply to us today just as much as they did to Nicodemus the Pharisee back then!

If we CANNOT see, then we are blind, if we are, UNABLE:

INCAPABLE, UNQUALIFIED, INCOMPETENT, IMPOTENT, HELPLESS, basically dead, then who is ABLE?  Jesus is, that's who!

Heb 5:7

Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

Heb 5:8

Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

Heb 5:9

And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

All we have to do is obey Jesus... Jesus said if we want to enter the Kingdom of God and to see the Kingdom of Heaven, we need to be born again! 

John 3:16 tells us just what to do:

Jhn 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

To be born again is to believe in Jesus as the only begotten Son of God! So simple yet so much depth! Only Jesus is ABLE!

This has been on my mind for several days now and I just had to share it! Look up the definitions of the defined words and get even more depth and realize there is just no way for us to save ourselves... CANNOT is such a deep word! 

All definitions taken from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/

All scripture quotes are from the King James Version Bible through https://www.blueletterbible.org/

A Walk Through The Wilderness

This year in my Wednesday morning Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class we studied the life of Moses.
Let me tell you, it was not the easiest study! Exodus - Leviticus - Numbers - Deuteronomy! I think I read all of Exodus about half of Leviticus,Numbers & Deuteronomy! I did about 90% of the homework. Even though I didn't get all the reading done I still learned some things!
Through this study God showed me how Holy He is, he requires complete obedience and how often He repeats Himself to His followers, how full of grace, mercy, love and justice He is and that He CAN NOT LIE. Even Moses, God's most devoted and faithful follower, who God even called His friend, had consequences for his disobedience! NO ONE is exempt from God's law!
 In reflection over the past three yrs, feeling like we have been wandering through our own personal wilderness. When I look at my own life it seems that I had turned into an ungrateful complainer just like those Israelite's.
During this study we learned that even complaining is a sin! It was so eye opening! When I just stop for a second and think of what I do have instead of focusing on what I don't have, I always find something to say, "thank you God". When I begin to complain I remember I need to look for something positive...even if my path is hard, it's either because I made a bad decision or this is the path God has laid for me and the difficulty is for a reason that I can not see right now. It may be generations down the line before it's known the reasons for our trials in our life. Going forward I am determined to be intentionally grateful and thankful for something every day.
By watching Moses lead the complaining Israelite's for 40 years I am inspired by His example that it is possible to keep my faith even in the middle of the wilderness and in the midst of a culture that does not recognize God for who He is and are not satisfied with God's provision and who are against His laws.
This does not have to influence MY worship to our Holy God and creator. He deserves my honor and praise simply because of who He is!
I am again reminded that it is Christ in me that makes me who I am, well the who that is good. My principles and values in life come from God and I have a deeper insight to that after this study.
I realize that in this life we will all go through the wilderness at some time in our lives and probably many times over our lifetime. The reality that it will happen is not a question BUT how I walk through each wilderness season is up to me. I sure hope I have learned what I needed to during this time in the wilderness and that no matter how many more times in my life I walk through it that I walk it with that same faith that Moses displayed during his journey.
 I hope that I can walk out the rest of my days ALWAYS remembering to call on God because He is my sustainer, provider, my guide and my purpose. He is MY God and I am so grateful He has given the whole world the opportunity to be adopted into His family, to follow after Him.
It's incredibly sad to think that our country's history of liberty and freedom would not exist at all if not for the laws and principals layed out by God. Thank You to those men, women and families who sacrificed their lives to bring the Bible to what we now know as America! Freedom has been built on individuals and cultures who weren't afraid to stand for what is right over thousands of years. Will I be counted among so many who have stood for truth! Something to think about!

~One Season Closes and Another Begins~

Over the past few weeks I suddenly realize our family is quickly entering a new season of life! Jayda is finishing her last days of Preschool and soon to be entering Kindergarten summer school! This means that both girls will be in elementary school in the fall.

I have quickly realized that this first season of parenting is closing, it's final and there are no do overs! What's done is done and I find it hard to focus on what I have done well, or right. What I hear and see in my heart and mind are the regrets I have, the things I wish I would have done differently. So many nights of interrupted sleep for both mommy and daddy now seem like terrible excuses for some of our attitudes and actions during daylight and midnight hours. I am thankful there won't be lasting memories of these times for the children and that God created them in such a way that they forget these things! This is truly God's grace!

I know this... I want to live the next season differently, first be removing any and all expectations of what it will be like... I know that impacted my heart and mind during the first season greatly! I want to be present in each moment and not overly focused on the future. I know to plan for the future is necessary but it can be so overwhelming during the times when I get tunnel vision toward that. I want to experience NOW... The Bible talks about not worrying about tomorrow, for the things of tomorrow will take care of themselves. (Mr 6:25-34)

Now I'm off to pick Jayda up from her last day of PreK!!! Here's to all things new!

Finding Myself

It's been a good two years since my last personal posting so I'm not sure how this is going to turn out but here goes for all my followers who have been wondering about what's going on in our world!

It's been a roller coaster the past two - three years. Shortly after becoming parents in 2011 it's been one health battle after another in our family of four. This has kept us working hard taking care of one another and pretty exhausted most days!

Our big scare this year was in January. Bill went to the ER for Kidney pain and came home with the news that he had spots on his lungs! WOW... did that ever send us into a whirlwind... if you've been through a cancer scare you know all the fears and what if's that go through your mind. It was a long 4 month process to wait and see if the spots had grown. Praise God they did not and all the other tests were all negative in light of cancer signs!
However during the waiting period I couldn't stop thinking about our girls... how could it be part of God's plan to orphan them yet again after sending us to rescue them... I was beside myself with these thoughts and how I just knew God had been preparing me for single parenting through all our experiences as parents the past three years. Finally I had to decide if I was going to trust God or not!
The last 22 years of my life has been a journey of trusting God and watching Him deliver on His promises and on His Word. After weeks of mind games I finally made a choice to put my fears aside and trust in God. I had to believe that taking Bill was not His plan for us and I should keep focusing on treatment plans while seeking God for direction to the best doctors and specialist.

I said all that to say this... I am at a cross road yet again to TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST God.
This time came a bit harder to jump out of the boat and walk on the water. I do have two kids to consider. The two girls God has blessed us with makes this step of faith the hardest ever.
I have chosen to follow a call from God to return to Peru this October. This is the same place God called me to go in 2010 where I also received the call to adoption and that is what set us on the path to connecting us with our precious girls!

Earlier this year a dear young pastor whom I was blessed to be acquainted with passed away.. His memorial service was so incredible. Just the person he was and the way he loved his God, family and his ministry was very touching.
The last time I ever spoke to him I had the opportunity to introduce him to our children we adopted as a result of his churches ongoing relationship and mission project in Peru. He was happy to meet them and said "So when are you going back?' Little did I know that those would be the last words I ever heard from him. 
You know how some things just keep floating around in your head... well those words have haunted me for the better part of this year. 
When God speaks His first and last mention are significant, I suppose the same can be said of those we love, we tend to remember things like that...

It so happens that I have heard this particular song, "Give Me Your Eyes", 33 times just between the end of June and the end of August. How do I know you say??? Because I have been hearing this song repeatedly since about January. I noticed I was hearing it frequently and I just assumed the artist was coming to town at first buuuuuuut, I keep hearing it, and it's not a new song so they aren't playing it because he's on tour! I decided to start keeping track of how many times a day I actually hear this song. 
The song is significant because While on the Peru trip in 2010 I struggled with understanding why God had called me to go and so when I heard these lyrics "show me what I've been missing"  In that moment those words broke me and drew me to a point where I asked God to "show me what I've been missing"  Incidentally my prayer immediately led my eyes, ears and heart to see, hear and feel that call to Adoption.

I have not been the wife mother or friend I had always envisioned I would be after the Adoption. Somewhere I lost myself. I have battled with depression which I have learned stems from my unmet expectation of what parenting looks like. I am much better than I have been but I still slip back into a lot of wrong thinking and actions more often than I would like and more often than I feel is normal. 

I need to go on this trip coming up in October to be recharged and regain my eternal perspective on this life. I need to serve on a different level than I have been for the past 3 years.
 I have to go for me and for my God who I have grown distant. 
I know that I need to reconnect on a deeper level with the Lord and once I have that again I know I will return to the woman, wife, mother and friend I want to be. 
Most of the time I would say I am not happy with who I have become or the way I talk and act most of the time especially toward my children and husband. Those are the ones I don't want to treat this way most. It's NOT NOT NOT  who I am... 
I have to again choose to trust God on this... I don't want to be away from my family and I have some physical limitations right now that bring me fear that I won't be able to keep up on the team. I want to claim this Bible verse God brought me too today
Exodus15:26  And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee. 
Mostly it is the first and last portions of this verse that ring out to me, Diligently LISTEN to God's voice, Do what is right, KEEP His ways... and the end says that the LORD HEALS! 
I am choosing to trust in this... why else would God have directed me to it just after I told one of the leaders I may have to donate my plane ticket to someone else if I can't get this health issue resolved. 
I am trying hard to hear God's voice but it's hard to be still sometimes with two little ones. I am happy for the fall schedule coming up that will allow me more opportunities for some time to be still and listen!
I choose to trust what I have heard and I choose to trust God will direct me to healing! 

My Granny

Born November 25, 1925 Entered into Glory December 11, 2012 at 87 years of age.

Bertha was born in Tomahawk, Okla. She retired from Millbank Manufacturing. She was preceded in death by her husband, Roy A. Byrd; and a son, Roy D. Byrd.

She leaves her daughter, Marilyn Martin and her husband, Billy; son, David Allen Byrd and his wife, Mary; brother, Edward Allen Hall; eight grandchildren; 19 great-grandchildren; and three great-great grandchildren.

Girdy,

You have run your race; you have finished your course…

 I believe the Lord will say to you: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

I can’t remember a time when ANYONE needed her or something from her that she didn’t give it to them even if that meant she had to go without. It was ALWAYS others before herself no matter what.

I have a million memories of you Girdy and they ALL make me smile! To name just one recently, when I took you, Alyssa and my girls to McDonalds then let you drive the last block home in our loaner BIG car… Now that was fun and I love the smile it brought to your face just to drive one last time! Life just isn’t the same without you here Girdy…I know you thought you were just in the way but your presence was all I needed. I love your smile and to hear your laughter. I already miss you calling me Suzie and Katie … to those who don’t know why I call you Girdy… it’s because I can never remember you ever calling me by my name…except maybe when I was in trouble… so on our most memorable trip to Ada Oklahoma I gave you a new name too!!!

I am betting this is how Beau and Scoop got their nick names… their sis must have given it to them when they were kids! Until this week none of us knew her brothers real names were NOT Beau and Scoop!!!

OH GIRDY… I love you!

I think one thing anyone who knew you would also remember is your passion to win the sweepstake! How I loved going through your room this week to find your notes to two different sweepstakes indicating that you didn’t have a donation at this time but IF you did win to please withhold that portion from your winnings!!! Again, you make me laugh!

I also found two certificates in your honor for supporting U.S Veterans through charitable donations. I am certain we don’t really know just how giving you were but I realized as I sorted through your things that God gave me a husband in Bill that has the same heart as you to help others in need and who also likes his sweepstakes too! What a blessed granddaughter I am!

I know I made you promise to stay with us until we got our girls & even though your body was ready to go your heart was willing to stay… I remember the first time you gave me a gift for mother’s day… I wasn’t even old enough to have kids but you just wanted to give me a gift… and when I struggled to have children I know it broke your heart.  I have truly enjoyed watching you pour that unending love you give so freely into Jordin and Jayda these past 14 months. I am so glad you got to enjoy them and I will make sure they know how much they are loved by you.

As I have sorted through memories and photos this week and remembered our last conversation on your birthday about my favorite memory of being at your house when I was little… how I loved to look through your photo albums… so today it struck me that must be where I developed my passion for photography and I hope to pass that passion on to my girls… I have several albums around my house now too and hope many children will love it as much as I did with you!

 These words are only a tid bit of all that I hold in my heart of our time on earth together Girdy.

If I had to sum you up in only 2 words, they would be Enduring & Loving.

I didn't realize how much you are a part of who I am and how much I will miss you until now…

Thanks be to the Lord for giving me the gift of such a loving and fun Granny for a full 87 years.

I know I’ll see you in heaven one day, so until then… I’ll run my race and finish my course.

Worst Best Incident...

I can't believe I'm even going to write this but feel as if I should for a reminder to myself, as help to others & to my Lord & God credit due for His mighty way!

This weekend Bill had to travel out of town for business so it's going to be ALL GIRLS weekend YAY!!!

Friday we picked up Aunt Amy & headed to the Harrisonville  Festival. Oh how the girls had so much fun on the rides & dancing to 'therest' music. 

It was so great to have someone along to help out with the girls...
We got home late, went to bed & rose early on saturday to a somewhat normal routine except it was Aunt Amy here not daddy. 

In the afternoon Aunt Robin came over too & they sent me off for some much needed 'ME' time!
Then it was off to meet up with Aunt Val & pick up our brides maid dresses for Robin's wedding. I was so much appreciating all this extra help managing the girls through this day.

We all headed to Chic-Fil-A ... Robin's favorite place... : ) for a late lunch & play time for the little girls... 
After lunch we headed to Marshals department store to help the bride to be something fun for her bachelorette party dress!
Jordin was having such a great time helping pick out flashy beautiful dresses... she LOVES dresses & dressing up!
So were shopping away & Jayda speaks up... "POOP, mommy poop!" In Jayda terms that means she has to go pee pee...or in the store it means I'm tired of sitting in this basket & I want to get out of here...
So I tell the girls I'm taking Jayda to the potty, one of the girls offers to take the basket, I didn't hesitate to leave it with her and also instructed Jordin to stay there as well.... We talked about the basket directly, but not Jordin...

I go off with Jayda in arm to the potty of which she didn't even go... little stinker!
I check the message that came through on my phone; it informs me that everyone is back in the dressing room now. 
I take Jayda and head to the dressing room. 
As soon as I arrive I visually take inventory of who is present... I ask "where is Jordin, in there with Robin?"
Amy & Val look at each other then back at me stating "NO, I thought she was with you!"
I quickly leave Jayda with them and take off to search for Jordin, surprisingly calm... I thank the Lord for that...
I go to the restroom thinking she must have followed me there & I didn't know it...
I enter & see no one, so I call out... "JORDIN... are you in here?!" No one replies...
I become increasingly concerned... I step out from the restroom area looking around every direction... I start yelling out her name... JORDIN.... JORDIN... my eye catches  Amy & Val searching also... then I see Amy running to the front of the store... as I look ahead to where she is running to I then see Jordin at the front with an Employee!
I am immediately at ease knowing she is in the store & safe!
Amy scoops her up quickly!
Mommy right on Amy's heels as I got to Jordin I could see she had been crying & scared... 
I took her into my arms, held her tight & asked her if she was ok... I assured her I was so glad she was ok & that we found her...
I then reminded her of why Mommy & Daddy have rules! (to keep her safe!)
I held her for a long time... she did not want me to let her go.

Oh my gosh... the what if's in this story are horrific... 
I could point fingers & place blame...I could say it's Jayda's fault since she lied about having to go potty.... I could blame Jordin for not obeying mommy... but truely...I am to blame.. she is my child I am ultimately responsible for her at ALL times.

As the mother, I allowed myself to become too comfortable with others helping me keep track of my girls, shame on me... I need my friends to know that if it were me that was in a group with the parent of someone else & their child was present, I would fully expect that parent was looking after their own child & I would not be as alert to where they were. It's NOT your fault!

I heard Jordin calling my name as I walked away, I should have turned around, shame on me again.

I was trusting her to obey me as I had instructed her to stay there. She knows the store rule is to never leave the basket... I was also trusting she would obey that rule as well... 
Lesson for mommy...children disobey

Lesson for mommy... ALWAYS review rules when going to the store... repetition is the price of learning... (i usually do, but didn't this day!)

Lesson for mommy... put into practice what our children should do if they should ever be separated from mommy in the store again... 

• scream as loud as you can MOMMY
• know mommy's name
•  stay in the last place we were together & I will always come back to that spot  DON'T LEAVE
• Know Mommy & Daddy's names
• know your phone number & how to dial it on the phone

Praise our God and King we were reunited & no harm was done... Thank you Lord for meeting me in the midst of it all... thank you for your sovereign hand of mercy & grace...thank you for directing our path today. 
I am SO over joyed that it's over, it was short and we are all safe and sound...let it be a learning opportunity for us as a family.

I am still in awe of God and how he maintained my head that it was clear as I searched for Jordin, that I knew to go back to where she may have been, to go back to where we were last together & that he directed Amy's eyes to see her at the front of the store!!!

As I continually replay the events over & over in my mind, trying to figure out just how; I am going to explain this to Daddy when I talk to him or see him again. My mind tells me "he will never trust me again, God CHOSE us to be their parents... & I LOST JORDIN!" and these two thoughts haunted me all night & all morning.

Sunday the girls & I head off to church. I Dropped off Jayda to the nursery as usual then Jordin & I head to adult worship. After wordhip Jordin was going to childrens church so I stop her & reminded her to obey the teacher & STAY with her class... she replies "yes mom, I WONT wander off!" 

I think she learned a valuable lesson!

Sitting in my seat feeling lonely, I begin to replay the events in my mind again...I ask the Lord, "please speak to my heart & mind, bring me some peace through Your word today." 

As I listen to pastor Scott's sermon on abuse, he breaks it down in 4 perspectives, Self, Others, David & Jesus...my mind begins focusing on Jesus... and then it wanders to Joseph and Mary... Jesus' parents! 

God reminds me that Joseph & Mary also lost track of Jesus... THE SON OF GOD as well!!! 

My heart was comforted & the tears began flowing... so thankful God chose to include this part of Jesus' life just for me & others who may have dealt with the same thing!

I began processing the events of Joseph & Mary's situation... they were CHOSEN parents too! 

They were traveling & surrounded by their community... trusted friends & family... they too were comfortable & secure that their child was in a safe environment.

BUT... they too could not find him...their story is much like mine!!! 

Check out their experience:

Luk 2:41  Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover. 

Luk 2:42  And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. 

Luk 2:43  And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. 
Luk 2:44  But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. 

Luk 2:45  And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him. 

Luk 2:46  And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

 I am sure taking inspirational comfort from this story at the parental perspective... they lost him for 3 days... I can imagine they retraced their last moments with him, where they were last together as they journeyed back to find him.

Parents... please even when you're in your most trusted circle of people... have GOOD communication with them... if you leave your child with them be certain that they make eye contact with you and that you hear them say "YES I have ... (child's name)." 
Even more important... MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS WHAT TO DO IF EVER SEPARATED FROM YOU OR THEIR ADULT BEFORE SOMETHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENS...
We had not ever talked about this until it happened... IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE...it happened to the parents... the CHOSEN parents of the Son of God... it CAN happen to you!