What Makes My Heart Melt

This saturday Bill and I had the opprotunity to go from no children to two teenage boys for the weekend... !!! Chris and Phillip Alred got to our house about 1230 on saturday and we got them settled into their room and took them off to lunch...we took them to Monglian BBQ!!! We met Amy there too...The boys thought it was cool...
It mad me so happy to share something with them they had never done before...
They want to go there again when they get home from camp...
It was saturday night and Phil started calling me Mom...I know I can never replace his MOM and I don't want to...but it was so sweet!!!! It just made my heart melt...He said I am his mom for this week....and so all day sunday and monday til they left for camp he called me mom...!!!!
Now it is wednesday and I find myself missing them so so so much...I keep watching the clock trying to imagine what they might be doing right now at camp and missing Phillip saying, MOM....MOM....
every time I go to the store I see oatmeal cream pies and that makes me think of Phillip then I see chocolate donuts and fruit snacks and think of Chris...
These boys are so awesome..they just talk talk talk talk talk...I love it...
I don't know what I am going to do when they go back to Mexico!!!! Right now I get to look forward to seeing them again on saturday....
And I can't leave out my girls.... Val and Robin they are my kids that I have here all the time and Jerin anf Micah...they are my fulltim pretend kids...I just love it when they call me Mom....I just melt every time...except when Robin and Jerin are pretend fighting for too long...!!! LOL...

I said all that to say this:
Yesterday as I sat at the Lake looking through my Bible and my old notes sitting in the quiet...I wanted so much to know everything that was happening at camp...this was the first time in 6 years that I have not been able to go to camp and my heart achs to be there....I was thinking of how much I miss Phillip running around here saying MOM...MOM....and God said to me how much He misses me when He doesen't hear from me and I don't spend time with Him every day...He achs for me...He wants me to call Him Father...it will make his heart melt...just to hear me call Him Father....
I can't imagine how much these Boys' parents must be missing them...I thank God my Father to have had them long enough to experience what it may be like to have children and to miss them so much....
I love my Kids!

Hold on to your Spoon!

Well, so much has been happening in my life recently... My last entry was about the Grace of God and how He has promised me spiritual fruit.
I have just recently returned to work after recovering from a complete abdominal Hysterectomy at the age of 34. It was some what of a difficult decision for me to make to follow through with this procedure. I have been asking for one about 10 years now. After my first miscarriage at 6 weeks I wanted it that day...I never wanted to experience that again...that was in 2002. In 2004 the Lord granted us the courage to get pregnant for a second time. That also ended at 12 weeks. Some how the second one was so different...it was very painful emotionally but I still wanted to have a child....but the more time went by the more I wanted spiritual fruit.
Over the last 4 years...WOW... I can't believe it has been 4 years...in August actually...
Anyway in the last 4 years The Lord has helped me understand and accept that I will not bear children of my own. He has in His way turned my focus to His will not mine..I often think of Jesus in the garden before He was taken to be crucified. Jesus prayed to God the Father and asked if there be any other way...BUT...not my will but thine be done...
I AM SO CONTENT!!!!!
I had asked my doctor what would be best for me. I said I want to be as healthy as I can for as long as I can. That was when she said it was time to take it all out...!!!!
I was so amazed at my emotion to that response...I knew it was what I had wanted for YEARS....and I knew it was best for my overall health....why was I sad...
I spoke with several women that had children and had the same reaction...so I guess that's normal...
OK I said all of that to say this.....
On Sunday the preacher was talking about dinner at Grandma's house...and how she always said "HOLD ON TO YOUR SPOON" because desert was coming...the best part of the meal.....
The Lord is telling me to "HOLD ON TO MY SPOON" because the best of my life is yet to come.....
PRAISE THE LORD...HE IS FAITHFUL.