Thankful! Week Six

So much happens every week and I think I must remember to log that... and here it is the end of the week and the best thing I can remember is that we have celebrated our first Thanksgiving as a family of four! What a day, 17 adults and 8 children all in our house and dinner was ready almost on time!!! I am a little proud of that!!!

All week Jo1 has been talking about "HER PARTY" (Thanksgiving) she has no idea just how much this party was about her and her lil sis. Bill and I have been telling the girls how thankful we are that they are in our family!

Monday on our way to school this week as we were singing the Zacchaeus song... I ask Jo1 if she knew that God has a BIG plan for her life and she replies, "Yea, Uh-huh...what is it?" I explained to her that I didn't know but we get to spend the rest of her life discovering what it is! She says... OK! She melted my heart once more last Sunday!

Saturday night baby Ja2 was up most of the night and momma was too tired to get us all up and ready for church so the girls and I had our first Sunday School lesson at home while Daddy went to preach the Word to the College class!

I wasn't sure what I was going to tell them about so I was thinking and praying about what we should learn over breakfast and I was looking for something to teach and God said...uhhh HELLO.... how about Zacchaeus! That was the same story I taught for my very first VBS in Peru! I got to tell our girls a little bit more about my trips to Peru and how Aunt Amy was in Peru right now with Miss Laci picking up Laci's forever little girl too.

As we went through the story and the girls colored their pages it was just such a sweet time just to get to tell them how God took me to Peru to help build a home for other children who are waiting for their forever families just like us.

As we came across photos of the orphanage and I explained that this is what mommy helped work on while she was there; Jo1 says to me... “I wanna do that too, and I want to go on the air plane to Peru!" That was it... I had a good cry over that, I said you made mommy cry, she laughed and said, "No I didn't!" and here I am again tearing up. I know she is only 4, but what if that is God's plan for her life, and He did take me all the way to Peru twice to set us on the path to find this little American girl so she could grow up and go serve the orphans of Peru like her forever mommy!

I remember telling Bill in 2009 that whenever we do find our children I want to take them to Peru so they can see where God planted them in our hearts!

I want to get on a plane with her right now and take her there!

She always wants to help me with whatever I am doing even if her favorite show is on. Is this a servant’s heart or is this a typical 4 yr old that wants to be just like mommy and do everything mommy does?

I guess we will see in the years to come...

I think Poor lil baby Ja2 has allergies like me... between her teething and sneezing, her lil nose is all red and runny most of the time. Hope she sleeps well tonight! I know that alarm in my mattress is going to go off as soon as I log off here and get into bed, so we will have some sweet time in the rocking chair again! Although she did act like she wanted me to put her to bed tonight... maybe she will sleep good!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

                                                                                                         

Scene overlooking the unfinished portion of Hannah's in 2010 the moment after God confirmed His calling to Adoption.

The mountain to the right of my camera's view on the same day

Psa 113:9He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

Everyone is learning

Today is 5 weeks and were all learning each other pretty well, and my body is adjusting to all the lifting and the spring in my rear that pops me up just about every time it sits down... ha ha ha...
The girls now have their own rooms so nap time is so much smoother the last few days and mommy can do things like journal some memories!
Jo1 loves her stickers so those are great tools for helping us listen the first time! We're doing so well this week, only 1 bad day out of 5 so far!!!
Mommy and Daddy have learned so much about how we really appreciate grace when we mess up so we have been giving much grace to the girls also. The first time I told Jo1 that I was giving her grace she started crying and told me she didn't want to go to grace!!! Lol, Oh it was so hard not to laugh... I explained to her that grace meant that instead of putting her in time our or taking away her sticker for the day that I was not going to do either of those things even though that's what should happen because of her behavior. Now she understands grace, it was kind of a neat teaching moment for both of us!
Both girls have been sick this week so mommy is learning how to nurse little noses and coughs... it's so scary when babies are sick but they seem to pull right through... these girls are real troopers!

This week Ja2 let me rock her to sleep for the first time! She loves her lil feet and tummy rubbed. My heart melted just watching her sleep in my arms, I wanted to hold her all night... looked like a sweet angle.

Both girls love watching mommy in the kitchen & get to help sometimes! They even like to help with the laundry but that doesn't usually help to much we end up with laundry from one end of the house to the other... so funny, then mommy gets to re-fold. This is now  a nap time chore! ; )

Daddy is so sweet with the girls! He took Jo1 on their first special outing last week to get Ice cream then to the Bass Pro Shop to see the BIG HONKIN fish... that's what she likes to call them... hee hee! She got her picture taken with Santa too and told him all about the BIG HONKIN princess castle she's wanting for Christmas... she cracks me up with some of her words... like thirsty that comes out as sirsty  and stirred and skerd . I especially love it when she starts asking WHY... Bill and I love to do it back to her... it's so funny because she really gives us an answer for a while then she goes... You don't say WHY I say WHY!!! It's so funny!
Daddy helps Jo1 be a big girl with her things and has so much fun with Ja2 for bath time, her laugh fills the house and makes me smile while I clean up dinner I hear it, so great! My favorite is still when he does story time and fills in Jo1 name to the story... it's so funny! I hope she's not disappointed in a few years when she learns to ready and finds out her name is not really in the story! LOL!

We had our first official family photo's taken a few weeks ago and our Christmas pics too, they are so good... wish I could post them on here.... it's killing me not being able to share our pics...
We did find out the adoption may be able to get finalized possibly around January so I REALLY hope so! Then we can have a BIG HONKIN party!!!!
I think it's finally settling in with me that this is really our life now, the life I never thought would really happen is here now and all the things I ever dreamed are coming true! These two gifts from the Lord are so precious.

One Chapter Closes and a New One Begins...

Just 4 weeks ago I finally completed  an 8 year project. I began journaling my emotions and feelings after our last miscarriage in 2003, God led me to publish it as a book to help others like myself find healing through honest self evaluation and trusting in God's promises from His Word.

The very day after I sent the final draft to someone for help getting permissions and copyright's taken care of we received "THE CALL!" (October 14th)

Husband Bill was out of the country on his first mission trip in several years so it was me and our two gifts from the Lord! For now we will refer to them as Jo1 and Ja2

Honestly I have to say that single parenting is not the way I had envisioned starting this phase of the process out, but as always, God had other plans.

We knew this could happen while Bill was away but were torn because all parties involved would prefer that both of us were present for this phase as well. Also the 6 month clock would not begin until they were in our care even though we had been selected as their adoptive parents back in September. Bill and I had agreed that if we got the green light that we would just do this because it was becoming to hard on the girls, they were ready for the move!

What was supposed to be our first overnight visit that Friday turned into moving in day! WOW... momma officially has her hands full!!! Praise God for Amy and Kelly who came to help out for that first evening, Mrs Amanda who comes every morning while I take Jo1 to school, Schreibers & Robin who come to play and Nana and Grandpa who graciously attended soccer with me on that first Saturday morning to help with Ja2 while I coached soccer for 4 cute little girls! y huge blessing that day was the free BBQ the church provided for the soccer league... very perfect, hot dog never tasted so good!

Bill was due home on the 19th, so it was single mommy for 5 LONG days. I got so discouraged at times. Between missing Bill terribly and finding myself unable to even enjoy what had just taken place in our lives I was at my breaking point by the end of those 5 days.

It was so great to finally have Bill home!!! The next thing to do was train him on what we had already established... baths bed times, snacks, meal times, school stuff, Dr's all the rules ect...

Crazy first days... it has been 4 weeks now and I do have to say the girls are doing much better and they are typical 1 and 4 yr old girls... I do think PMS starts way before the actual M happens... Just Sayin!!! LOL

Jo1 LOVES attention and snuggling and can't forget PINK and she is sure that she's a princess, mommy loves that too! Ja2 we have learned really likes her lil feet rubbed before bed and her cup of milk helps her sleep through the night.

Just when we thought we had sleep patterns figured out a few weeks ago Ja2 got sick and her sleep was all messed up, then about the time she was better it was daylight savings time, and were just getting adjusted from that and now Jo1 is trying to get sick!!!

And this is our new normal now... 7am wake up get dressed take Jo1 to school, come home take care of breakfast and dress Ja2, play for a while, get our 1030 snack down then it's time to pic up sissy from school, then its home for a little play time and then lunch around 1230 then our nap which we are still working out the issues there. Then it's up around 230 if we even nap... then mommy attempts to do chores or run errands that are needed then it's time to begin the dinner preparations. Yes it takes at least 2 hours to get dinner together in between Mommy... Mommy... Mommy... she took my toy, she pulled my hair, she ...or Mommy I want... I want... I want... and baby Ja2 wanting mommy to hold her while I'm cooking, which can't happen... so she gets all sorts of bent out of shape...

Feels like I am always cooking or trying to get some laundry clean or other general cleaning... everything takes 10 times longer now with the two little ones, slowly I am getting used to it and even tonight I actually was enjoying holding baby Ja2 after she woke from her sleep scared or something... I think she is still adjusting to the new surroundings. I rocked her and rubbed her lil feets and she was so happy and snuggled with me! : )

We're really getting to know their personalities to. Jo1 is very strong willed and likes to be in control so we are really trying to work hard with her on letting us be mommy and daddy taking care of her and giving her areas of independence. She has also just begun falling out of bed at least three nights in a row now... not sure but I think she's out-growing her bed... they are both growing so fast... Ja2 has such a big head I am having to get her cloths 18-24 mo now... poor thing the shirts fit but her pants are too long... still cute though! Lil Ja2 is pretty smart for her age... she knows what the No No's are and she will look at you then go for it while smiling at you... now how do you train her that this is not a game when we say NO! Sometimes we just have to laugh... like the first funny family moment we had was after Daddy came home from Brazil, we were at the dinner table and dad let one rip... I was like REALLY daddy... I tried to hide my laugh as the baby appropriately uses the phrase "Uh-oh!" We all laughed so hard...

Now were trying to find new balance to our new normal and still have lots of family and friends to meet but have to take it slow with them, I think they get insecure when meeting to many new people in a row so please be patient with us as we continue to adjust to the new normal of our 4 member family!

Much love and thanks to all who have been helping and supporting us through the transition... we are so very thankful and know that we could not do this on our own... I have a whole new respect to those single parents who do this all the time. Prayers to them...

We are praying the finalization goes through much sooner than 6 months... and then we can share pics of our lil family! There are many more details to share but not enough time... perhaps another day there will be... until then,,,

Adoption…Redemption…CELEBRATION!!!

Romans 8:15

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

 I recently took part in celebrating with some friends who after 4 long years are now one step closer to getting their little Peruvian Princess and make her part of their forever family through the miracle of adoption!

As I  focus on the amazing celebration taking place my mind is flooded with scriptures from the Word of God that describe for us what happens in Heaven when just one person turns their life over to God and receives the blood of Christ for their redemption. God’s gift of eternal life!

The scene as I enter the house is absolutely a feast and party atmosphere setting, Pink, brown and white balloon bouquets all around, food from wall to wall a room full of gifts for the new addition to the family, a place for guests to leave words of celebration and encouragement, magnets for guests to take home as reminders to pray for the continuing journey, Pictures everywhere of the new addition to the family, ribbons and banners, wall to wall guest to participate!!! What a celebration!

The place was just a glow with excitement and chatter over one little 3 yr old girl who is about to come home for the very first time!

So many days, weeks, months, and years have gone by as this family has waited. The character qualities I think of as I reflect on watching them as they have waited put me in mind of our God.

Our God is described as Patient, Kind, Longsuffering, Passionate seeker, Lover of my soul.

This family has no doubt experienced & displayed some if not all and more of these characteristics as they have long waited for the news, for the ‘’CALL” that this little girl would soon be theirs. Preparations and sleepless nights have surely taken place in anticipation of “THE CALL” month after month, year after year through pushing piles and piles of paper work forward. Sounds and feels a lot like child labor but harder and longer.

How God does long for us to “CALL” His name, and he waits and is longsuffering, waiting for our call to be redeemed by the blood of his Son.

When the time comes and we finally call… the celebration begins… REJOICING is the word used in scripture to describe what takes place. When we rejoice we call everyone we know near and far to celebrate our excitement with us!

That is just what happened on Saturday and I just can’t stop thinking about God’s story of Redemption… His Gift to all mankind to be redeemed by the blood of His OWN son, and while so many reject it, He waits, and waits and holds back his wrath on mankind and he waits and he waits because he is NOT WILLING that any SHOULD perish but that all should come to repentance!

Luk 15:4-10

15:4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

15:5  And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

15:6  And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

 15:7  I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

15:8  Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? 15:9  And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost. 15:10  Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.

While I continue to observe this magnificent occasion my mind drifts to meditation on the many gifts that were opened… so many lovely gifts for this precious little girl… Everything she could need or want was provided and then some. God said he has given his children gifts, and he said he would provide us food and clothing. What another amazing picture of God’s provision and awesomeness… this puts me in mind of just how much God wants to give us! He has a storehouse FULL of gifts for us, the things we want and so much more, just waiting for us to grow into our gifts so they can be used by him…

I know this goes much deeper and I just can not wrap my mind around it all. God has so much he desires for us to have, he wants to give us much more than we can even contain!

God SO loves YOU! (John 3:16) He is waiting for your call!

God Still Moves Mountains!



Taken in Peru

Move this mountain Lord Jesus!
 Matthew 17:20    “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you”.

 September 6th we were selected by the state of Missouri (Jackson County) as the adoptive resource for our precious gifts from God.

However... there was a mountain that stood in our way. The mountain was that another petition for their adoption had been filed for these same children. We have been at a standstill for the past few weeks, hoping and praying that this other petition would be dropped. We have been holding onto the fact that our prayers have been answered in ways that continued to lead us to believe that these are our girls. We specifically prayed that we would not make it through the staffing if these were not supposed to be our children, we prayed for God to move in the heart of the leadership and powers that surround this case and turn them whichever way He wanted them to, and they did select us.

Proverbs_21:1  “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."
I took that in faith and fully ready to push forward knowing KNOWING that these girls are ours.

As the days have passed and I have struggled with not being able to meet them and begin the transition to their forever home with us I had to once again remind myself that we do not always understand God's ways.
 I even wondered if God is allowing things to come together this way because there is someone out there involved in the case that needs to see His power and His glory revealed.

 September 16th I asked God to move the mountain that was standing between us and our children. Everyone that asked us how things were going we simply requested them to pray for God to move the mountain! (Matthew 17:20) 

 September 21st I surrendered my heart once again, to watch him work. "Today I give my heart again to the Lord that I may see His ways above my own:
Proverbs 23:26 “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways."

September 22nd I received a phone call from the Foster Mom informing me that she/ we got an e-mail saying the adoption was no longer contested, meaning the other petition has been withdrawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOUNTAIN WAS MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 23^rd, we will meet our precious gifts for the very first time! God YOU are Awesome, Powerful, Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth…Mountain Mover!!! GLORY TO YOU FOREVER AND EVER.

Psalm_113:9

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

Going to FINALS!

Bill and I had our 'HOLLY WOOD' performance (staffing/Interview) yesterday! We have been selected by the state as the Adoptive resource for the girls! Praise the Lord

One more detoure to overcome, the judge will decide who is the best fit for the girls.

Pro_21:1

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."

May the Lord turn the heart of those in power toward His will for these precious little lambs.

Thank you for all your support and prayers!

We Love you

Got Our Golden Ticket - We're Goin to Hollywood baby!!!!!!

OK, so if you are reading this you are probably thinking, that this girls is C R A Z Y! She ain't no American Idol singer...

Well... that's right... she's not, BUT... she has a story for you!

If you know me at all, or have been following this blog for any time over the last 14 months you know that Bill and I have been going through DFS for our Foster & Adoption licensing, which we finally obtained on July 7th of this year.

On the same day(7-11-11) that we received notice that we were licensed we also received an e-mail looking for an Adoptive home for two Caucasian females. Their ages are 1 & 4, who's names both begin with the letter J! This fits right into the Johnston side of our family! There are many members in Bill's siblings and their children who have stuck with naming their children beginning with 'J'  in their children's, names and not to mention just about all of our family members birthday's land around the same time as these precious babies.

I could get into a lot of details but I will try and not bore you with too many...

Let me tell you this has been a long 7 weeks! We submitted our home study on the 8th of July for consideration for their adoption and were told that we would get an e-mail notifying us IF we were selected.

We were so stoked about this because there are so many things about the case that we just knew God was in it for some reason. At the start we were certain these were OUR girls...

Every since our calling has been confirmed God has placed many Girly things in our path that has led us to continue believing that it will be girls he is bringing us or at least one girl first... so many things,

girl girl girl... everything pink and cute! I even attempted to purchase a gender neutral bedding set, it looked like red and yellow when I was picking it out on the Internet, but when it was delivered... the red's are more like pink than red's... so if we do get a boy in this some how... I hope he is too little to know his bedding has pink dots on it! LOL...

I was begining to lose my faith in the 'girl' pattern about the beginning of June when our profile was changed from just girl placement to either boy or girl, so I started thinking that maybe our first adoption or placement will be a boy then the girl might come later...

So anyway... it was time to go and teach the youth high school girls at church camp... and well.. here's a story in a story...

We make it to our camp destination on this HOT summer afternoon! I'm the cabin leader so I get first dibs on the bunk...

Here I go getting settled in and putting my suitcase under the bed, but wait... it won't fit... what the heck... there's not way this shouldn't fit, there is plenty of room.

I looked at my AWESOME girls... and was like, um There is something under this bed. At that moment I was having flash backs of all the scary movies I ever watched as a kid, I just knew there was a dead body under there!!!! Creepy... so I think I talked one of the girls into getting under there for me and well... we didn't find any dead bodies thank goodness!

We pulled out a beautiful children's blanket fit for a little princess GIRL!!!!!

Now... really, I have been to at least 6 or 8 youth camps and NEVER have I EVER found something under my bed, other than some nasty bugs...

I was just like WOW... God, are you trying to encourage me not to let go of the girl thing just yet... hmmm so again along this path I make a choice, a choice to believe that God is preparing us for girls. First it was this odd pair of booties I found in my back pack when getting ready to come home from Peru last year, then the other set of bootees shown in the second photo that say 'SO LOVED' and now... the precious blanket in the third photo found under my bed. This doesent include the flock of little girls Bill and I see everywhere we go, so if you could just imagine our amazement when we got the profile for the GIRLS... on the very same day we got our license... just sayin! (If your reading this Shawna... that was for you)

I just can not deny the power of God in this and what he has given me in the scriptures, I must keep believing...

Well... all of that being said, I'm sure you are still wondering what this has to do with American idol and Hollywood...  SO here ya go..

First you have to know that I do love me some American Idol, I love music and I really love it when people like Scotty from this years season win! He is too cute, and such a great performer! I'm pretty sure he love Jesus too, and that makes it even more exciting for me!

SO...The way this adoption thing works is the adoption worker on the case collects home studies over a period of weeks (that would be the "try outs") and reads through all of them, then out of those they select 5 canidates.

 I have decided to reffer to this phase of the process, those who get the 'GOLDEN TICKET' those canidates go to the staffing. This is what I like to reffer to as 'HOLLYWOOD"....

I know that just sounds crazy, but when I explain this to people that's the best way I know how to describe it... feels like being on American Idol..  and it's fun too!

So today we got our

GOLDEN TICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and were going to HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We will be blessed if we are the winners of these two precious girls!

We continue praying for God's will and direction in the next phase. It is most important that these children go to the place that is best for them and if that means our home, then that will be so incredible! We continue to walk by faith...

Really having fun with this...I had to make us our own Golden Ticket hee hee hee!

Obedience Brings Peace

Been feeling increasingly gloomy, grouchy, anxious, impatient and irritably lately... BUT... I found the escape from my gloom!

Over the last 24 hours I hit my limit, my top was ready to blow off and finally I broke. I had to stop everything and sit down and have a talk with God. I poured my entire heart out to the Lord, things only I can say to Him. I felt better after my melt down and was really looking forward to a new day today.
I actually got up and got ready for work on time today. The morning started out pretty good, and as I was driving to work those negative feelings started to come back on me. I was on the edge of tears by the time I got to work and it was one of those moments where you just know if the wrong thing is said to you the tears are gonna break through and there won't be anything you can do to stop the flood!

So I got to my desk and began my morning duties and then... the phone rang... on the other end was my dear friend, my prayer warrior as we have traveled down this adoption road.
She says, "How are you?" I just say, "I'm don OK" she told me that she had been thinking of me and praying for me over the last few days... I shared with her some of how I have been feeling and by the end of our conversation I was in tears and finally... at my breaking point, I couldn't take anymore, something had to give. I have been trying to balance, family, work, ministry keeping my house and this adoption situation.

I hung up the phone and was pondering my life and how I was feeling overwhelmed, I decided that I have to stop listening to everyone and everything else, I need to follow through on my commitment to the Lord in obeying my calling to keep my house (stay home).
SO, I did it, I gave my final notice today 8-18-11, my last day will be 09-01-11!

WOW... I did it, gave all my fears, doubts and what ifs over to the Lord and moved forward with my commitment to be a stay home mom, take care of this home plan meals, help my husband with his ministerial administrative items and finish writing my book and maybe sell some hot sauce.
It is finished... I did it... and after doing it... I noticed that a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The waters were calm...the storm had subsided. Obedience had delivered me!



I felt so good, happy again. I KNOW this is right. It's been hard few months with this commitment and transition but I am so confident in this decision now, even more than before. I feel FREE! SO FREE! Thank you Jesus for setting my soul free December 8, 1992 and for using my obedience to set my heart free today! It just feels SO good to do the right thing, I can't get over just how good I feel tonight, at peace and confident in this decision...
I am looking forward to what's next! Trusting God is behind everything working it all out and confident that God is able to overcome what ever reason the system may view my new vocation as not good enough through the adoption process.
GOD YOU ARE GOOD ALL THE TIME!

Philippians_1:6   "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"

Wait…Wait…Wait… & WHAT IF…

As we pursue the adoption of two little girls; ages 1 & 4, I find myself at the cross road of ending my 16 years with my employer & beginning a new career in parenting!

The decision has already been made, I cannot serve two masters the Good Book says in Matthew 6:24 & Luke 16:13. I submitted my official resignation on June 10^th, only to be advised that it would be better for our adoption case if I would continue working until we are selected in an adoption Staffing/Interview. Then I can say that I am planning to give up my career of 16 yrs to be a stay at home mom.

I thought that giving up my career to be a foster parent and adoptive parent would have been a noble thing and respected… Not to mention I KNOW it is in obedience to God’s calling on my life. I KNOW God is pleased.

So… we wait…some more…

 We submitted our name and our home study for consideration in this adoption case on July 8th and we will be waiting until the second week in August before we possibly hear if we have or have not been selected as one of the 5 candidates/applicants for the adoptive resource of these girls…

Bill and I feel so strongly that these are OUR girls; they were meant to be in our home… There are several things that line up with their case that lead us to believe that; we just know this case is directly tied to us for some reason. Perhaps they are not our girls and this is just something to delay us a while longer to direct us to which ever children are ours.

 I keep finding myself fretting over all of the “WHAT IF” scenarios, What IF Bill loses his job, What IF one of us develops a serious illness, What IF we can’t find health insurance with reasonable rates, What IF we don’t even get these girls… the What IF’s play through my mind and then, in the words of my dear friend Robin… “THEN GOD”…   and so… God reminds me that He has got this… He is my provider, and HE is the one who has called me to be a Mother and a keeper of our home 06-10-2010. (Psalm 113:9)

I am reminded that God has NEVER let me down in this life, even in the times I have felt like He did… He DIDN”T!!!  God is and has been behind the scenes of this masterpiece called “The Life of Bill and Carolyn Johnston” and He does see the finished canvas and it looks so much more beautiful than the blobs of paint Bill and I see right now.

Oh thank you Lord for the journey that keeps our eyes seeking you and your path for our lives.

 Lord helps us to be patient for the next brush stroke of your hand, guide our steps at just the right time daily on this journey.

To be like Noah

Over the past few months I have felt a bit like Noah.  We heard the call to Adoption and it was clear that we were to prepare the place and so we have done so by faith.
Noah built the Ark as God said to do and he waited for the flood to come.
Do you think that on the very day Noah completed the Ark was the same day the flood came??? Or perhaps Noah prepared the Ark, and then waited... and waited... and waited. God only instructed him 7 days prior to the flood to collect the animals and his family.
Do you supposed he may have doubted that what he heard the Lord say was correct before those final instructons came?
I don't see where Noah ever questioned God's direction or instruction. If he did, it's not recorded in these passages.
I want to continue on like Noah did. God didn't tell him when the flood was coming at the time He instructed him to build the Ark. God told Noah how to build it and why He was having him build it and apparently that was enough for Noah!
At the end of it all, God made a promise... and He made a covenant with Noah, He set a bow in the clouds as a reminder of His promise!
God keeps His promises and I need to remember that!


Lord may your words alone be ENOUGH for me.


Gen 6:22 Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

Gen 7:5 And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.

Heb 11:7 By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

Gen 9:8  And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,

Gen 9:9  And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;

Gen 9:10  And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.

Gen 9:11  And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.

Gen 9:12  And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

Gen 9:13  I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

Gen 9:14  And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:

Gen 9:15  And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.

Gen 9:16  And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

Call to Adoption the details



Peru Team- Gateway Church- Blue Springs Mo -2010

I have to begin several months back, about March while in preparation for this years mission trip to Peru. God began speaking to my heart in a still small voice about what it means to be an orphan, both physically and spiritually. As God confirmed my calling to return to Peru in 2010 with Gateway church &; ChildReach ministries He led me to James 1:27 which states the following in the: “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”



What I was looking for in a confirmation to 'Go' is what I found in this scripture. The word FATHERLESS stands out to me. One phrase that I kept hearing consistently was this: “FAITH WITH OUT WORKS IS DEAD” and after doing some research, I found that this is also in the book of James!



As the time passed leading up to my trip in June God has unfolded what it means to be an Orphan.


Spiritually Orphan means to be separated from God. As a spiritual Orphan I am lost in need of a Savior and my spiritual father, the devil is dead making my soul fatherless the devil does not care for or provide for his children.
Physically – Orphan means to be without parents- fatherless. God has revealed to me what it has cost Him to purchase me, Adopt me (Romans 8:15). When I realized what it cost Him (John 3:16) I decided that my attitude toward the cost of physical Adoption has to change…. Because maybe….just maybe, God has allowed the cost of Adoption to continually increase so that just maybe we would see the parallel to what it cost Him to give Jesus, His only Son for the payment of our redemption so that we could be Adopted into God’s family(Ephesians 1:13-14). Even as these revelations unfolded for me leading up to the trip I really didn't think we would be called to Adoption. We had even had several people suggesting to us that we should.
Adoption has been the farthest thing from my mind!...hasn't it... ?


I do remember praying that if God would want us to tell His story about what it cost Him to Adopt us spiritually through physical Adoption; then that would be ok. I never really thought it would become a reality.


God has gradually changed my attitude and perspective toward the cost of Adoption. The way I see it is that in God’s heart there is NO price too high to redeem a fatherless child or Fatherless soul.



God revealed some things to me on my trip that had caused me to be in much prayer and desperately seeking His continued direction. As I looked on the Internet for audio sermons about Mary and Joseph I came across one sermon in which was quoted that same phrase yet again, “FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD”



I have been pondering something in my heart since June 2010. When God spoke to me through many of our team members throughout this week I didn’t really take it to heart but when I came across this scripture I knew I could no longer deny what God has been trying to tell me for some time now.



Psalm 113:9


“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.”


While in Peru The day previous to God revealing this scripture; I had completely broken and asked God to show me what it was that I have been missing…. I was prompted to pray that because of the song the team had sang that morning. It was 'Give me your Eyes' by Brandon Heath –  one verse says…."show me what I have been missing"…. one morning Liz, our song leader, had read psalm 111; this really stood out to me because it spoke about the heart and the Heart of Truth was a theme I was also preparing for our church's upcoming youth camp that would be just after returning home from this mission trip. During this trip I had desperately been trying to get some alone, quiet time in the Word. This was continually a challenge being in small quarters with 40 other people...
 I really...REALLY wanted to go back over that scripture. The next time we had the chance I went straight to Psalm 111 to review that and I just kept reading and that is when I came upon chapter 113 verse 9 as I listed above.



Now let me go back and place some pieces together here..…. I hope you see how God used so many small things to show me what I was missing...
 As our team gathered on the bus at the airport in Peru to head to Hannah’s home from the air port I found myself sitting next to a brilliant young woman , Liz. She and I were exchanging stories about how it was that we came to be on this trip and as I shared my last two years experience with her of my calling to this trip and all the ways God had confirmed I should be on this trip and the struggles Bill and I have had with infertility and  two miscarriages, then the spiritual battle I have had leading up to this years trip.



Nick



Nick approached me the following day after our lunch in Pucusana and he began by apologizing for listening to my conversation with Liz. He expressed his sorrow for our experience and that he had NO idea that we had been through such things. He was so precious, as he was sincerely hurt by our circumstances.  Our conversation was interrupted by team photo time and so we agreed to talk more at a later time.



That evening after our team meeting time Nick and I had a long talk about his journey and how God had used my conversation with Liz to help him realize that God was testing him too. He had never thought of his situation that way and so he was thanking me for that. (We never know how God will use us in the lives of others!) In the midst of our conversation Nick explained to me how he believed God was telling him that we would adopt from this orphanage in Peru and even said it would be a  little girl. He insisted that God was telling him this.
I told Nick that I didn’t think so right now. I shared with him that I did come on the trip with specific questions/prayers about what/how God wanted me to be a part of either Hannah’s directly or more with ChildReach if either of those. I couldn't shake not knowing why God keeps calling me to this place...


As the next few days unfolded NOTHING went as I had planned… I felt like the plan we had spent so much time in preparing for our VBS was all a failure.



Our nightly Peru team meetings revealed something different…. the truth...everyone that attended and helped with VBS had a great time and God was working in their lives!



It didn’t matter how I felt about it. God did what He was doing regardless of our feelings or our perspective on the situation. We don’t always see what God is doing (Jer 29:11) and we don’t always understand (prov. 3:5-6) we must not lean on our understanding but acknowledge Him in ALL our ways and HE will direct our path….

If I have learned one thing on this trip, it is to be FLEXIBLE, and to leave God room to work.



By Wednesday I had asked many questions to alot of leaders that I had been directed to; questions about Hannah’s... the programs and the local church connection. I hadn't really seen or felt a pull toward anything so at that point I began wondering what I was supposed to be doing in this place… God gently directed me to simply serve and what ever is in front of me each moment...do that.


So as I continued through the day’s looking for what was in front of me and continuing to look beyond the surface of the things I was seeing with my eyes, as that was something God has led me to do going into this trip.
I was overwhelmed and broken hearted by this point, that was when I heard the song I talked about earlier.


After singing praises and confessing my prayer to God "show me what I am missing"  The first thing I saw that stood out to me as we walked away from our team morning praise was a t-shirt; Mike Stiles was wearing, I have seen this shirt several times over the last few years  of serving in Peru and have always wanted one. The shirt says in big letters I AM ADOPTED.

I shot a few photos in light of the fact that I had just a few minutes ago asked God
I didn’t spend much time at all thinking about the incident but went onto my plumbing assignment. This is where I met a college student, Kyle; who is volunteering at Hannah’s for the summer. One of our team challenges for that day from our devotionals was to single out a Peruvian or staff member for a significant conversation find out about them, their family, school, marriage ect. As I inquired about Kyle and learned about him and that he is engaged to one of the other girls volunteering here for the summer; of course he asked about me ect, ect. And some how we ended up discussing how long I have been married how old am I and how did I come on this trip…. That led to a brief discussion of the last two years and how God has called me to Peru and how God used James 1:27 and has been revealing all those things about the Orphan, both physically and spiritually to me since January and I wasn’t really sure what He was doing in all of this. Kyle, at some point in the conversation said the following quote:
 “You are a parent with out a child and these are children without a parent”
That totally blew me away...that struck me... as many times as we had been asked " have you ever thought about adoption?" I have never heard it said quite like this before... He never did ask that... which is the question everyone usually throws out there… I commented to Kyle "that was different… I have never heard it quite like that before…."


Kyle was called to help someone at this point and I went on to have a discussion with another student volunteer, Karina a sweet young lady about 16 yrs old.
 Important to know...she had not heard any of the conversation between Kyle and myself…



Kyle, wife: Casey & Song leader Liz

I proceeded getting to know her and asked about what she was doing here in Peru and about her family… she began telling me about her family and when she got to the part about her siblings she addressed them as her ADOPTED brothers…. really...???...



Now that REALLY hit me… I was starting to see a pattern in my day and very quickly I might add... As I walked away from that conversation, I chose to believe, to believe that God was calling us to adoption! I talk about walking by faith all the time, and tend to do so... but this... this was HUGE! Becoming parents is not the same as going on a trip to a foreign country, or moving to a different county... this is a major life change...



That evening we had church service in Lima and I was desperately needing some alone time with the Lord but not being able to find a quiet place in the midst of 40 people…
I was so excited that we were going to church! I had prayed a prayer and asked God to show up like he did at this church last year!Just let them bring up something about our team VBS skit or theme in some way just like last what happened last year… I needed it, to keep believing that God was in this!



We arrived at the church and it was hugs and kisses all around!!! My kind of place; I'll take all those I can get!!! I sat down in my front row seat and while I was looking around I spotted a little baby girl, in the arms of an older woman, my heart JUMPED and I thought I have to hold that baby!!!! I have not felt such a strong desire to hold a baby in years…. That was so strange….something happened inside me that I can not explain.
I hadn’t really felt much all week even when God had answered so many prayers and I had seen him do so much in the lives of the people on this team… so that jump in my heart really made and impact on me…
I approached the woman but didn’t have the courage to ask if I could hold the baby. I did have a cross necklace in my pocket. I leaned down and hugged them both, then placed the necklace around the baby’s neck.
I can not forget that moment...when I saw her... covered in her pretty blanket…and... my heart exploded! It was like something came alive in that moment.

I like how this photo is not clear...it reminds me that the plan won't always be clear but I just have to keep moving closer to it if I want to get the clear picture!

The service was great and the speaker brought up the character of David and how his faith in God was his strength. I SOOOO needed that!!! God was answering my small prayers... again, just so I knew He was there with me and in every detail, big and small.


That night as I reflected on my day and listened to my own words…. Walk by faith… and Faith was the theme of our VBS for this year in Peru and back at our home church VBS also. Coincidence?... I say Providence!
 I thought...well... if I am going to talk about trusting God then I should do it in all things. So again, I said God I choose to believe that you are calling us to Adoption. I asked God to please give me scripture to stand on because I know the storm will come.


On Thursday morning (next day) we were given one hour for quiet time, it was mandatory! PRAISE GOD! Finally…I knew exactly what I was going to read. I read Psalm 111, 112, and went on into 113 and came upon vs.9 "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."

I had just the night before asked the Lord for scripture to hold onto if this was really what He was trying to show me!
 If I was going to walk by faith then I had to believe. Believe in what I could not see right now! (Hebrews 11:1)


I recalled the phrase Kyle had said to me. I was moved to write him a note to  thank him for allowing God to use him and to ask for prayer. I would have keep this quiet for the rest of the week until I got home and talked to my Bill. I couldn't risk it leaking out over the internet in the blog before I could talk to him, face to face.
 As I reached in my bag for a card  to write on I found a copy of the children’s booklet we had used for VBS. It was tucked into my greeting cards. On the back of the booklet was a verse about Jesus telling the Disciples He was going to prepare a place for them. This verse is why I believe that what we are supposed to be doing now is preparing the place. The first thing I thought of when I was on my first work assignment on Monday was that very scripture and how what we were doing there in Peru is helping prepare the place for the orphans of Hannah’s Home.



Hannah's  progress

 

Our Place Preparations begin...

  

As most of you know... there is so much more to this story. God has redirected our path a little, we are going through the foster care system to become foster/adoptive parents. We are currently in our licensing process and preparation of our home. We will be accepting girls 0-2 years old, trusting God is bringing our little girl through this path.
There are many more details...those will be included in the book...whenever God is finished with the perfecting of His story, in me...
Thank you for taking interest in our journey... I pray it inspires and encourages you to walk by faith down your path of life.

Final Preparations Begin

God Speed