Obedience Brings Peace

Been feeling increasingly gloomy, grouchy, anxious, impatient and irritably lately... BUT... I found the escape from my gloom!

Over the last 24 hours I hit my limit, my top was ready to blow off and finally I broke. I had to stop everything and sit down and have a talk with God. I poured my entire heart out to the Lord, things only I can say to Him. I felt better after my melt down and was really looking forward to a new day today.
I actually got up and got ready for work on time today. The morning started out pretty good, and as I was driving to work those negative feelings started to come back on me. I was on the edge of tears by the time I got to work and it was one of those moments where you just know if the wrong thing is said to you the tears are gonna break through and there won't be anything you can do to stop the flood!

So I got to my desk and began my morning duties and then... the phone rang... on the other end was my dear friend, my prayer warrior as we have traveled down this adoption road.
She says, "How are you?" I just say, "I'm don OK" she told me that she had been thinking of me and praying for me over the last few days... I shared with her some of how I have been feeling and by the end of our conversation I was in tears and finally... at my breaking point, I couldn't take anymore, something had to give. I have been trying to balance, family, work, ministry keeping my house and this adoption situation.

I hung up the phone and was pondering my life and how I was feeling overwhelmed, I decided that I have to stop listening to everyone and everything else, I need to follow through on my commitment to the Lord in obeying my calling to keep my house (stay home).
SO, I did it, I gave my final notice today 8-18-11, my last day will be 09-01-11!

WOW... I did it, gave all my fears, doubts and what ifs over to the Lord and moved forward with my commitment to be a stay home mom, take care of this home plan meals, help my husband with his ministerial administrative items and finish writing my book and maybe sell some hot sauce.
It is finished... I did it... and after doing it... I noticed that a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The waters were calm...the storm had subsided. Obedience had delivered me!



I felt so good, happy again. I KNOW this is right. It's been hard few months with this commitment and transition but I am so confident in this decision now, even more than before. I feel FREE! SO FREE! Thank you Jesus for setting my soul free December 8, 1992 and for using my obedience to set my heart free today! It just feels SO good to do the right thing, I can't get over just how good I feel tonight, at peace and confident in this decision...
I am looking forward to what's next! Trusting God is behind everything working it all out and confident that God is able to overcome what ever reason the system may view my new vocation as not good enough through the adoption process.
GOD YOU ARE GOOD ALL THE TIME!

Philippians_1:6   "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"