FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS

This week I have had the humbling privilege of receiving forgiveness from two co-workers. The entire situation was a subtle reminder of the FREEDOM that comes with the forgiveness of my Heavenly Father.

I remember the emptiness and heaviness that was in the pit of my stomach! Knowing that I had done something wrong...and offended two people that I dearly care about. I had to swallow my pride and humble myself, admit that I had done something wrong and then ask for their FORGIVENESS!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD.... I work just a few feet away from these wonderful ladies and to be more specific, what I had done was send them an e-mail with my confess and asking for their forgiveness.
Waiting for them to respond was HARSH... I can't even describe the felling in my stomach!!! I just wanted to cry...I couldn't believe that I may have just ruined our friendship because of my ASSUMPTION and ACCUSATIONS!!!! Me and my mouth....that was my thought...my mouth...ALWAYS.. getting me into trouble....
When I reflect on my anxiety while waiting for them to respond I am reminded of the Lord and how He is just WAITING for us to RECEIVE His FORGIVENESS through Jesus Christ!!! He must be ANXIOUS for us to RESPOND to the Gospel of Christ!!!

This whole incident had taken place around 1 in the afternoon. I had been away from my desk all day until just before leaving at 4. I rushed to check my e-mails, ONE RESPONSE!!
One of the ladies had GRACIOUSLY FORGIVEN my behavior!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
BUT.....what about...the other one...I must have really messed up!!!

My heart sank...I just knew I had RUINED everything..and more than anything I had made my Saviour look bad. Ruined my testimony as a professing follower of Jesus...

As I drove home that evening it was breaking my heart knowing that I had played the part in severing our friendship. It was completely my fault. I had to turn this over to the Lord and so I just prayed to God, I made my confession to Him for my sin full behavior, asking for His forgiveness. I begged God to make this thing right. I wanted terribly for things to be REPAIRED!!!!

The next morning as I arrive for work I am again anxious but fearful of facing these women. Anxious to see if the other had responded with FORGIVENESS, Fearful that I would be rejected. Also fearful of how my relationship may be "Different" with the one who had forgiven me already!
I was rather thankful that I arrive to work earlier then they do...that way I could be settle and working by the time I had to encounter them!

I got to work and was on my way to get my coffee warmed up when out of a side room door....WHAM... there she was!!!!!!!! The one I hadn't heard from!!!!
My head was spinning.... how do I react...???? I chose to continue on my path and allow her to speak to me if she so wished to. I didn't want to push the issue. I wasn't even sure if she had read the e-mail yet!!!!
I was hoping that the Lord was working it out and that things would not stay this way!!!
Our paths crossed as I continued down the hall and she went back toward the department....
Just as I passed she called my name!!! OH NO..... My heart sank...it was that oh crap..I'm in trouble feeling...
I slowly turned around and she was SMILING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said I got your message and that's OK..we are all human!
OH MY GOODNESS.... I can't express how much that smile and those words SET ME FREE!!!

I can't help but think of how God's Forgivness sets us FREE from our sin and he is...as I said earlier...just waiting for us to RECEIVE it!

THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

This year Bill and I have started a new thing . We have created a Menu for the whole month and buy all our groceries at once and ration our food for the month to help us save money and also eat healthier.. It only took us one week to realize that we will have to get produce and milk at least once a week or at most every two weeks...


Today was a differen't Sunday for the Johnston's. We visited my Best Friend at her church for her Jamaica missions trip send off service rather than going to our home church. This also means we were closer to home after church on this particular day.... Our plans were to have lunch out....(because it's in the plan and budgeted in to eat out on Sundays)...and then after lunch we were to get the few groceries we needed...So the plan was to go to Costco to get our stuff in bulk...I LOVE COSTCO.... Ok so that was random...
anyway... today's lunch did not agree with Mr Bill....So we headded for home...!!! I dropped Bill off at home and off to our local grocery I went since it was closer....

I pull into the parking lot and I see an elderly woman struggling to push her cart of groceries to her car....I was watching her and at first glance it broke my heart and I felt bad for her struggling. I took a longer look...cuz I am a people watcher...and I thought to myself.."That looks like MY GRANDMA!" IT WAS MY GRANDMA!!!!
I rushed out of my van over to her and I was like,"Grandma....do you need some help?!?!?..... the stuborn thing...she was like no, no hun I'm ok...then she proceeds to visit with me right there in the parking lot!!! She wanted to know all about me and what I have been up to...Grandma's are so SWEET!!!! Just Love her...I finally asked her where he car was because I was not about to let her continue to struggle and not help her!!! ...She was parked all the way at the end of the lot..!!!! I said why aren't you using your handicap sticker?!?!?!?... She told me she parks wherever she won't have to back out...and then told me that she always has to go all the way back to the front to take the cart back...(this was all really making me so sad for her...her knees are real bad and she didn't start driving till she was in her late 50's when my Grandpa was diagnosed with Colon Cancer, plus she had lived in KC Mo until a few years ago...so she doesen't really know her way around Independence either...)
We found her car and got the groceries loaded...I asked her if she had anyone at home to help her carry them in...That was when she really made me chuckle... she says to me..."Sometimes I just leave them in the car until I need them!"
When I left the store I drove by her house and saw that my aunt's car was home..so I got out and looked to make sure she had taken in all her groceries....They were all gone! Praise the Lord my aunt was home to help her too!!!

I was SOOO glad the Lord caused all my plans to change so He could use me to be there and be a blessing to my Grandma as I helped her put her groceries in the car and took care of her cart for her on this cold winter day!!!!
Praise the Lord for He is Mercifull......and as we sang in Praise time today....He is Matchless.....
This whole thing also has caused me once again to understand how fortunate and BLESSED I am to be able to get around better than a lot of folks... and how we younger need to help our elders, and teach the young men and women of today to do the same.
I know how it is to really wish someone was there to help me at times when I have been down in my own health but I sure didn't want to ask for help!!! Darn pride!!!!

Side note:
Today in church we learned about the Hymn "It is Well With My Soul" evidently the author of this song from the 1800's had lost a small son, all his assets, and then a short while after that his other children were tragicly killed on a ship and it was at that time he wrote that Hymn!
So when I got home I shared with Bill how the Lord had allowed me to be there to help Grandma.....I asked him if that helped him be able to say "It is well with my soul"

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!

While the year 2008 comes to an end and we celebrated the Christmas Holiday I became sad this Christmas Eve. It became very real to me that on Christmas morning it would be just Bill and I alone again. Just as things had been in all our past Christmases, no children to shower gifts with. I had told Bill a few days earlier that it had SUDDNELY dawned on me that Jerin would not be home for Christmas this year!!!
He found his love of a lifetime earlier this year and would be spending Christmas with Valerie and her family!!!

Last year was the first time we had ever had someone (Jerin) to consider as a child and shower them with gifts just as other parents all over the world do every Christmas morning… It was so precious to love a “child” in this way.
Jerin really made it fun for us.. He gets so excited over the smallest things…especially food and candy!!!
We call this our “PRETEND” Family. Bill, myself, Jerin and Robin ( Jerin is the only one that lives with us)
In reality Jerin is Bill best buddy and Jerin is my friend. Robin is my disciple/spiritual daughter.

I just want to express how the Lord has blessed my life with experiencing what it must be like to have a son!
Bill and I have been a part of Jerin’s life for about 4 years now. He came into our lives during a terrible heartbreaking separation/divorce. We took Jerin under our wing. He would hang out with us, eat with us and after a while he even was doing his laundry at our house. He was part of our family!
We had much in common with Jerin as he was the Jr High leader at one church and we were youth workers at another church. Our hearts were knit from the start.
Jerin’s divorce became final after about a year, against his wishes. He sold their house and moved into a lonely apartment. About the time his year lease was up Jerin and Bill had decided it would be great for all of us if Jerin moved into our house. He could pay some rent and that would help us out financially and Jerin wouldn’t be lonely!!! I of course had adopted Jerin as a son long before this point…!! This was so exciting though…it was kind of real….
I remember spending much time in prayer for his ministry decisions and especially about a wife!
Jerin and I had many long nights of talking about ministry, his heart and about relationships….and then about THE ONE!!! Sweet Val… All these talks felt so much like I would have wanted a mother son relationship to be if I did have one…

I said all that to say this!!! Jerin is moving out soon and my heart is heavy!! I will miss him simply just being around, although he has been gone a lot since the Engagement in September…That has been good in a way…. It will make it somewhat easier when the day does come for him to really go.
I will miss hearing the garage door go up in the middle of the night and knowing he is home safe. This is so funny.. I remember the first time he was out with Val LATE and we were worried about him and if he was ok… I did not go to sleep until I heard him come home. It was then that I knew I had a real motherly love for Jerin… I do recall other women talking about how they don’t go to sleep when their children are out…!!! Ha ha… I got to experience that!!!
I COUNT IT ALL A BLESSING!!! GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!!!
Christmas Eve this year I talked to Jerin on the phone and was telling him how I realized he was not going to be home for Christmas morning and that it made me sad…as I hung up the phone I cried that day for the first time over losing my son!
It is a joyous occasion though…. He is getting married to a wonderful young lady and so I am gaining a daughter!
I am so thankful to get to experience these things even though I have born no physical children.

I can be joyful with children and be barren!

Psalm.113
1. [9] He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

There Was No Room in the Inn

On the night of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ Joseph and Mary sought lodging but there was not room.

Luke 2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; because (he was of the house and lineage of David:)
Luke 2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
Luke 2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
Luke 2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

During Christmas time we always practice the giving and receiving of gifts. This practice is a perfect picture or representation of the scripture in the Bible:
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

JESUS IS SEEKING ROOM IN THE INN OF YOUR HEART, IS THERE ROOM FOR ONE MORE GIFT THIS CHRISTMAS?
Our Lord has wrapped up Eternal life for you in the Lord Jesus Christ and is just waiting or you to ACCEPT it.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Ephesians 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

WILL YOU RECEIVE THE GIFT OF GOD THIS CHRISTMAS?

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

First Snow of the Winter!

Ahhhh as we made our early morning drive to church this past Sunday the seasons first snow was gently falling as it had been all evening! What a beautiful sight to see everything being slowly covered in PURE WHITE SNOW!!!!!
This event brought to my memory that we, the Bride of Christ, if you know Jesus as your saviour... We will be clothed in white on that great Marriage day when we meet our Jesus as one Body!
Rev 19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
Rev 19:8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.

As I looked up some scriptures on this I also found that as we daily wash our minds in the Word of God, the Lord is slowly purifying us from the inside out!!!! Making the inside white, and the whiter the inside becomes with His Righteousness...the more our eyes shine the light that resides on the inside...Beautiful...just like the slowly falling white snow!!!!

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

As the snow will continue to fall this winter and every winter in the years to come... let us be reminded that we need to be preparing for that day we see Jesus sweet and Beautiful face for the VERY FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! Let us be clean and prepared, like the scripture says!

Psa 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Psa 51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow

His Yoke is Easy and His Burden is Light

11-27-2008


Thought at the moment:
WHY ARE WE DEFEATED
WHEN WE DON’T RECEIVE THE DESIRED OR EXPECTED RESPONSE WHEN WE FEEL THAT WE HAVE BLESSED SOMEONE’S LIFE IN A PARTICULAR WAY?????????
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THIS?????????????????????????????????????????

WHEN WE REALIZE IT IS THE LORD THAT HAS BEEN THE ONE BLESSING OTHERS….THROUGH HIS VESSEL….HIS YOKE IS EASY AND HIS BURDEN IS LIGHT! Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Psa 31:21 Blessed be the LORD: for he hath showed me his marvelous kindness in a strong city.
Psa 72:12 For he shall deliver the needy when he crieth; the poor also, and him that hath no helper.
Psa 98:1 A Psalm. O sing unto the LORD a new song; for he hath done marvelous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory.
Psa 109:31 For he shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those that condemn his soul.
Isa 12:5 Sing unto the LORD; for he hath done excellent things: this is known in all the earth.
Mar 3:10 For he had healed many; insomuch that they pressed upon him for to touch him, as many as had plagues.

(When we let Him shine,It is THE HEALER that lives in us that others are drawn to)

Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

It is all about the GLORY OF THE LORD, I think if we really understood that….we could be free from our emotions that so many times trap us in bondage!
It is the Lord in us who moves us to do good works, there is no wrong in being joyful in obeying the Lord, it is when we start believing the lie that we have done a good work…and become prideful in that. There is where the trouble starts.

It is the Lord that is good! There are seven verses that clearly state that fact:

(Psa 34:8) O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

(Psa 100:5) For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

(Psa 135:3) Praise the LORD; for the LORD is good: sing praises unto his name; for it is pleasant.

(Psa 145:9) The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.

(Jer 33:11) The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the LORD of hosts: for the LORD is good; for his mercy endureth forever: and of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause to return the captivity of the land, as at the first, saith the LORD.

(Lam 3:25) The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

(Nah 1:7) The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.

WE MUST GIVE THE LORD THE PRAISE FOR HE IS THE ONE THAT BLESSES, EVEN WHEN WE DO NICE THINGS FOR OTHERS…AND IT FEELS GOOD….GIVE IT ALL TO JESUS….IT IS HIS…EVERYTHING IS HIS….WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THAT NOTHING IS OURS…NOT EVEN OUR WORKS AND THAT THEY ARE HIS…..OH WHAT A BURDEN IT LIFTS….WE MUST SURRENDER TO BE OBEDIENT TO HIS VOICE TO BRING FORTH HIS BLESSING TO TURN IT BACK INTO PRAISE…
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

1Co 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.


I don’t really know exactly why this is on my heart…
It is so freeing to realize that even my works are the Lords! My first thought every day should be how can I possibly serve my Lord in all that comes into my life today…
I pray this upcoming year is packed with right choices and fruitfulness….

If we find ourselves felling EMPTY it is because we are doing the work of the Lord in Vein-
Greek definition:
G1500
εἰκῆ
eikē
i-kay'
Probably from G1502 (through the idea of failure); idly, that is, without reason (or effect): - without a cause, (in) vain (-ly.)

Let us learn to be Full

Joh 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
Joh 15:2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
Joh 15:3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
Joh 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
Joh 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
Joh 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
Joh 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
Joh 15:8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
Joh 15:9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
Joh 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
Joh 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

This Thanksgiving

This year has been one of GREAT THANKS in my heart. I have found myself being so thankful for simply being free! Free to worship my God with out persecution, free to walk the streets at any time of day or night, in all things being free.
Lately I have came across some films, one called, "THE HIDING PLACE" a story about a family named the Tenbooms, the other film "ANN FRANK" this particular film on Ann Frank was one not only about her diary but included a few years before their captivity and went through until her fathers return home.

There is so much I could say about these films and how they have greatly impacted my life right now. The biggest thing that I want to share is the fact that in both of these films it really stood out to me that these families were just like me! They had stable homes, good jobs, they were FREE! These people were simply surviving in the world, taking care of the day to day and for no good reason that I can see...they were made into slaves, thrown out of their homes and sent to concentration camps in obscene surroundings. It became aware to me that this very thing could happen to me at any time....any one of us....or many of us...
I pray my Lord I never have to face that fate...it hurts my heart to think of all those who have and are suffering this fate now simply for their worship to Jesus Christ. I pray if I do...I may be counted as faithful as those Tenboom's who kept their faith, found the good in the most HORRIBLE circumstances.

I leave you with this challenge...if you find yourself unable to be Thankful this year because our economy is lacking right now...or any other circumstances surrounding you right now.....checkout anything on the Holocaust....
It will cause you to reflect on simply being free...and that will make you Thankful... I pray..
http://history1900s.about.com/cs/rescuers/