This week I have had the humbling privilege of receiving forgiveness from two co-workers. The entire situation was a subtle reminder of the FREEDOM that comes with the forgiveness of my Heavenly Father.
I remember the emptiness and heaviness that was in the pit of my stomach! Knowing that I had done something wrong...and offended two people that I dearly care about. I had to swallow my pride and humble myself, admit that I had done something wrong and then ask for their FORGIVENESS!!!!
Talk about AWKWARD.... I work just a few feet away from these wonderful ladies and to be more specific, what I had done was send them an e-mail with my confess and asking for their forgiveness.
Waiting for them to respond was HARSH... I can't even describe the felling in my stomach!!! I just wanted to cry...I couldn't believe that I may have just ruined our friendship because of my ASSUMPTION and ACCUSATIONS!!!! Me and my mouth....that was my thought...my mouth...ALWAYS.. getting me into trouble....
When I reflect on my anxiety while waiting for them to respond I am reminded of the Lord and how He is just WAITING for us to RECEIVE His FORGIVENESS through Jesus Christ!!! He must be ANXIOUS for us to RESPOND to the Gospel of Christ!!!
This whole incident had taken place around 1 in the afternoon. I had been away from my desk all day until just before leaving at 4. I rushed to check my e-mails, ONE RESPONSE!!
One of the ladies had GRACIOUSLY FORGIVEN my behavior!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
BUT.....what about...the other one...I must have really messed up!!!
My heart sank...I just knew I had RUINED everything..and more than anything I had made my Saviour look bad. Ruined my testimony as a professing follower of Jesus...
As I drove home that evening it was breaking my heart knowing that I had played the part in severing our friendship. It was completely my fault. I had to turn this over to the Lord and so I just prayed to God, I made my confession to Him for my sin full behavior, asking for His forgiveness. I begged God to make this thing right. I wanted terribly for things to be REPAIRED!!!!
The next morning as I arrive for work I am again anxious but fearful of facing these women. Anxious to see if the other had responded with FORGIVENESS, Fearful that I would be rejected. Also fearful of how my relationship may be "Different" with the one who had forgiven me already!
I was rather thankful that I arrive to work earlier then they do...that way I could be settle and working by the time I had to encounter them!
I got to work and was on my way to get my coffee warmed up when out of a side room door....WHAM... there she was!!!!!!!! The one I hadn't heard from!!!!
My head was spinning.... how do I react...???? I chose to continue on my path and allow her to speak to me if she so wished to. I didn't want to push the issue. I wasn't even sure if she had read the e-mail yet!!!!
I was hoping that the Lord was working it out and that things would not stay this way!!!
Our paths crossed as I continued down the hall and she went back toward the department....
Just as I passed she called my name!!! OH NO..... My heart sank...it was that oh crap..I'm in trouble feeling...
I slowly turned around and she was SMILING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said I got your message and that's OK..we are all human!
OH MY GOODNESS.... I can't express how much that smile and those words SET ME FREE!!!
I can't help but think of how God's Forgivness sets us FREE from our sin and he is...as I said earlier...just waiting for us to RECEIVE it!
No comments:
Post a Comment